A new year means 365 chances to start fresh.

 

Reflecting on 2018 and the lessons I’ve learned, I can say that there were extraordinary highs and lows that knocked the wind out of me. I can also say I’m grateful for all of it – especially the tough lessons, since it is through challenges that I learn, grow and mature.

When was the last time you learned a valuable lesson when everything was going well?

 

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that when I continue to show up as my best and highest self, as a person of integrity and authenticity, especially when life isn’t going well, events take a turn for the better in the most unexpected and wonderful ways.

 

Don’t lose sight of your dreams and goals because you’ve hit a few bumpy patches along the way.

 

I could have held on to anger against people who betrayed me. I could have felt sorry for myself or developed a “why me?” attitude whereby I walked around sullen. I could have become bitter, chosen to believe in the worst of humanity and lived life paranoid, skeptical, afraid of getting hurt and therefore, of letting people in.

 

Some of the most terrible days I’ve had in 2018 were far worse than anything I could have anticipated. Additionally, I was seriously ill for two weeks before my birthday and could not work during this period. I was angry with people who intentionally hurt me in ways I could not fathom before it happened. At night, I planned revenge in the worst kind of ways.

 

But I choose to let it all go. Why? I care about me more than the people who hurt me.

 

I know that when I keep showing up, even on my worst days, I will be rewarded eventually.

 

There has not been a single incident in my life where this wasn’t the case. All terrible experiences can serve as a springboard for something magical, if you allow it.

 

It’s hard to see the light in the midst of darkness.  I feel you, my friends, if you’re going through a hard time – I have been there. But I’m here to encourage you and let you know that you’re going to be okay. Great days are ahead; you can count on them. But you must do your part.

 

As you start the New Year with new goals in love, always remember that happy relationships are a result of trial and error and failures that ultimately lead to success.

 

You can expedite results and success if you work with a professional dating and relationship coach.

 

Don’t give up on love. No matter how painful your experience may have been, I promise you, your past does not have to dictate your future.

 

Whatever you have to do to heal, re-energize and re-strategize, do it now. However you can invest in yourself, invest, because you are worth it. You deserve the life that your heart desires and you deserve to do everything within your power to realize it. You have the power to drive your life exactly in the manner that you wish.

 

You are powerful beyond measure.

 

Life is full of interesting experiences – good and bad. Show up every day as the person you want to be and go after your goals – whether these are your dream man or dream job – with a sense of urgency and as if your life depended on it.

Whatever you have to do to find real love, do it. You have one life.

 

Jumpstart Your 2019:

 

·      Stop caring about what others think of you, your choices, your anything. Your parents and friends love you but they do not walk in your shoes. You have to make choices every day that are authentic to you at the core.

 

·      Be crystal clear about who and why you are. Why do you do the things you do? Are you riding this momentum of life or would I know from the outside looking in that you are a proactive driver of your life and that you own your journey 100 percent?

 

·      Engage with strangers. Talk to people, men and women, in line in coffee shops, at Wholefoods, on dating apps, etc.  However you have been showing up, step it up a notch. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

·      Be authentic. Are you saying and doing things in a way that is consistent with whom you are? Is your external life aligned with your values? If not, ask yourself why.

 

·      Take more risks. Love is a risk. Guaranteed the person you love will hurt you or disappoint you. But you can continue to choose vulnerability, authenticity and love or build a wall to "protect" yourself. Take more risks in love. Tell him how you really feel. What you need. Embrace the journey. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

 

·      Work on your confidence. What areas do you have to boost to become more confident? The world responds to you. How are you showing up?

 

·      Set clearer boundaries. Some years ago, I decided to say “no” to anyone or anything that would take me away from my ultimate goals and dreams. Over the years, I’ve had to let go of friends, switch jobs, end board commitments and relationships, including dramatically shifting my relationship with my family. Anything that was not life giving and fulfilling was no longer an option for me. Yes, it’s extraordinarily hard to cut ties with people who have been a part of my history. But I also know that the five people who are closest to me and who influence me in a consistent way will either raise me up to the next level or bring me down. Who are the people surrounding you?

 

·      Love yourself. It always starts with you. You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love and value yourself. Work on yourself every single day. Your goal isn’t to become better than anyone else. Rather, your goal is to become better today than you were yesterday. Period. Strive for your best and highest self.

 

·      Never give up on love. Out of the 8 billion people around the world, all you need is ONE person who gets you, loves you and commits to you. By default, this search for real love isn’t going to come easy and it shouldn’t. Be patient. Keep dating. Keep hoping, dreaming and doing. Keep showing up.

 

When you work on yourself, love yourself and show up as your best self every day, I promise you, someone out there will receive you exactly as you are and at the right moment. When it happens, it will all be worth it.

 

I wish you your best year in 2019.

 

 

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